That's just great Canada!

You pump that greenhouse crap out, you just pump it out...

Black hole confirmed in Milky Way...WTF!

So, I get back home, check into the BBC site, and screaming from the top of their front page is this little nugget...



I guess it's a relief we're in the Sagittarius Dwarf galaxy then, phew!

STOP PRESS! scumbag Wall Street banker keeps big sack of cash!!!!

For anyone who's spent the past couple of months comatose, or just in case this happens to be the only surviving chip of silicon referencing the great Wall Street theft of ’08, then for the sake of historical record here's the lowdown (btw if you happen to be reading this eons from now, and your world still debates whether they can afford to provide universal health care, buy an apple)...

Recently, Congress, supported by leaders from both major parties, voted to give nearly a trillion dollars to one man, an ex-Wall Street banker, after he promised to get the struggling US economy moving again. There's a recent picture of him taken during his morning cash inspection just below

He told the people in Congress, some wore old-fashioned wigs, that it was all about credit, that Americans just love using other people's money to buy things, but the banks just hate it, when they don’t get their money back, and have threatened to stop playing. He told them that he had a plan for getting it back to how it was, he asked everyone if they could remember the good times a few years ago, when teenage drug dealer’s could qualify for a mortgage...they could and nodded in approval.

Then he told them his plan to get things back to normal; he would do this by giving money to banks so the banks would start lending money to people again...they thought this sounded like a great idea and they nodded their approval.

Then he asked that they all come closer, and he lowered his voice and told them some really, really scary shit. It was all so scary that he told them they could never tell anyone else, especially the people whose money he wanted them to give to him. He told them that if the public knew, out of sheer panic they would immediately run into the street and shoot themselves and other people, and that would be bad for the economy...they nodded in agreement, this was truly shocking and the public should never know.

To Congress, whose passing of legislation was normally known to be slow, and could be measured in geological epochs, the consequences of the banks not being around to play anymore were so shocking, that they actually gave up a Saturday so they could look for a pen and sign the massive check.

Call me old fashioned, but ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME?

This is the very same bunch that needed to see a couple of thousand American soldiers die before they’d give the military a few grand to buy some metal to glue onto their cars, palpably they’d wrongly assumed that Baghdadi weaponry had not moved on from the thousand thieves and their curvy swords and daggers.

Now, all of a sudden they're happily handing over trillion dollar checks to some bloke, so that he could give it to a few banks, so they'd stay alive by charging taxpayers fees for lending them the money the taxpayers had given them to lend back to them....Uh?

I mean the deal doesn’t even make sense in the first place!

Why the fuck would taxpayers want to give banks money, just so they could loan it back to taxpayers at a profit? Surely, if they wanted to work along those lines they could cut out the middle man and have the government give them the money directly, for free! That would get the fucking economy rolling, right?

Not surprisingly none of it happened – well, actually that’s not entirely true, none of it happened except for the bit where Congress gives all the money to the bloke who'd put the shits up them. That bit happened, but not a jot of the other lot; no loans, banks didn’t start playing again because of it, in fact not a single loan was made to a taxpayer as a result of it, the bloke who said he would save the economy didn’t save the economy, and he didn’t get it running smoothly again. Apparently there was no oversight, just heaps of hindsight, if only they’d shown a little foresight.

Now, we have to read through the acres of newsprint and online rants and raves and radio commentary from fat blokes with ponytails complaining that they could see this coming, as if they were some kinda fucking guru for spotting it! Fuck me, congratulations you joined the ranks of the rest of the world, sorry strike that, the rest of the world got it right they bought preferential stock on behalf of the taxpayers, but of course that would be idealogically wrong. It’s ok for share holders and management to make money off crap companies begging for handouts, but you can’t have the public doing the same, I mean the thought of it, the people actually profiting in some way from corporate America, where would it end, the next thing you know they could have safe bridges, roads, who knows maybe even universal health care, oh no, that's right, that would be idealogically unsound...phew!

So, just as we thought it turns out that the Wall Street bail out was all a big scam, just so Paulson, Bernanke and Bush could divy up the swag between them and their mates.

Though I have to say their timing was quite brilliant, I mean this is supposed to be a free market economy and 'Dubya' is supposed to be Ian Ideologue himself, yet he managed to scare all those cowardly lefties, and even a few of those crazy GOP wingnuts, who couldn't give a shit about bailing anyone out least of all a fucking banker.

A few of them must've been in on it, which is why so few of them backed it in congress, just genius!

He even got the sparklier than sparkly Prince of Darkness to vote for it, and go on record half a dozen times saying how much he dug Paulson and Bernachy and how
thrilled he was that he had managed to get oversight included into the bill, and didn’t he do ever-so-well. The very same oversight that didn't see Paulson stuffing his underwear and socks with wads of $1,000 bills as he left the office every night. So, as a parting gift from the Bush administration he's left BO right-royally fucked, up shit creek without a paddle, as we say sans Inglaterre!

Apparently there is one piece of good news Bloomberg News reports that Bush has decided he's not gonna try and hit up Congress for another $350 Billion!!!!! Can you fucking believe it? He actually has the audacity to speak the words like it’s his choice, the man is a scumbag of the highest order, but if the democrats only reward bitter political shysters like Lieberman what hope is there of ever seeing justice served regarding the Bush administration?

He doesn’t even need to bother courting anymore controversy by offering a blanket pardon for himself and his staff, he doesn’t need it! Obama’s administration are not interested in seeing justice served. Though knowing Bush he'll probably do it just to rub it in....what a prize wanker!

Pants Entertainment News…Lieberman/Palin - The Affair, The Movie and The Interview - Maher on Clooney…

Rumors of a parallel Universal studios picture to be directed by Ocean’s 13 star George Clooney focusing on the 2008 election battle between the Prince of Darkness and that old duffer whose name we forget, have reached fever pitch. Not wanting to be left chasing this bandwagon as it screeches out of town, the Pants entertainment crew got right on it, soon discovering that the movie was far more than mere feverish rumors.

Now, hot off the Pants press we can inform the world that not only is the picture a work in progress, but that it features a salacious affair between Senator Joe Lieberman and Governor Sarah Palin. What’s more, we can confirm that superstar Clooney has wasted no time securing two of America’s favorite TV personalities to play lead rolls; none other than SNL’s Tina Fey is to play Governor Palin, no doubt borrowing heavily from her popular TV characterization, and the steamy senator is to be portrayed by his comedic doppelganger Bill Maher.

The movie will be a departure for standup funnyman Maher as he tackles his first serious acting roll, and Pants wanted to find out more.

Maher on Clooney, and himself
Maher told Pants....

‘This was one opportunity I couldn’t afford to miss’

Maher, well known for holding ‘alternative’ political views, went on to tell Pants about his admiration for Julia Robert’s ex...

‘I’ve always admired George’s work, he’s a realist, always challenge the audience, he’ll bravely take them to places they don’t really want to go, sometimes dragging them kicking and screaming, with laughter of course!’

He talked a little more about the departure to serious acting.

‘I’ve had a burning sensation in my pants, no, no just kidding…you see, I can’t stop myself sometimes. Anyway, no, where was I, oh yeah, for years now I’ve had a driving desire to play a serious roll, you know, so my fans can really see me....see the real me. They know me as the guy next door who’ll have them in fits of laughter with his razor sharp wit, one of the few celebrities that can really understand them, who knows how normal people think, and what they find funny, but now they’ll see that there’s more to me than just a brilliant comic mind. Did you know that Chaplin had an IQ of over 200?’

We told him that we didn’t, but that it sounded exciting. We asked about his relationship with George and whether he’d ever had the pleasure of meeting Senator Lieberman.

‘ George and I go way back, we met when we were only commanding a couple of million in fees, but now, well now George is off the scale and me, well I’m doing very well thank you very much. Man, they were fun times, struggling can be good for the soul, we worked hard to get to where we find ourselves today, at the top of the celebrity food chain. So, that’s good, and....yeah, I haven’t met Senator Joe yet, but George says he’s gonna hook that up, I think it’ll be important to meet, I mean I’ve been working off bare bones.

‘George had a very specific idea about how he wanted Joe played, but it’s like I said to George it’s not in the look, what people don’t realize is that I don’t look anything like him, it’s all an illusion, it’s because I can do the little things right, you know get his idiosyncrasies down,once you’ve nailed those you can play anyone convincingly, in fact, for me it’s not like playing them, I become them.

Imagine how it’ll all look once we’ve done the mask fabrication and makeup and stuff -- you’ll not be able to pick us apart.’

We mentioned that we hadn’t heard about any mask work, when we pressed a little further he admitted that there may not be a mask, because his idiosyncrasies are so good;

‘George thinks we may be able to get away without one. You know I have Joe down that well, can you imagine, me? I mean me, passing as Joe Lieberman, it’s hilarious he’s gotta be at least a good three years older than me as well, just brilliant, sometimes I just love being me, I just…just love it...’

We contacted George Clooney’s office but he wasn’t available for comment, however, we did subsequently receive this email regarding the movie and the casting...

‘Mr Clooney is extremely keen on realism, he feels attached to this project and wants to get it right. He’s of course aware of Tina’s phenomenal ability to play Governor Palin, and felt that she was a shoe-in. Regarding Bill, well, as anyone can see, he’s the senator’s doppelganger, the likeness is so startling that Mr. Clooney was willing to take a flyer on Bill’s acting, although we know Bill is the consummate professional and will commit himself to the work.’

So look out for Palin/Lieberman, but it’ll be sooner than 2012!

For more from parallel Pants, wait...

Today Bill Maher's doppelganger faces the wrath of the Democratic caucus in Senate

So, today in the Senate everyone's favorite honest broker Senator Lieberman will face the wrath of the Democratic caucus. Finally, the two-faced wretch will have to suffer the consequences of his treachery, he will be made to pay what we anticipate will be a severe political price for his political skullduggery. After all this is the man that gambled on the wrong horse so-to-speak and stabbed President-elect Obama squarely between the shoulder blades after giving his word (!) that he wouldn't.

Much as I’d like to, I’m getting tired of venting my ire about Lieberman, because, well basically, it never seems to vent. I feel like the bile I let out always seems to find its way right back into the pit of my gut. I can barely look at Lieberman’s perpetually smug face without feeling an unstoppable urge to punch something....so I decided to scour the intertoobs for an objective view on precisely what level of punishment Liarman could face, and over at The DailyKos I found
Karateexplosions fabtastic Lieberman diary, enjoy....

Lieberman, It's Judgment Day:  Here Is Your Sentence

by karateexplosions

Tue Nov 18, 2008 at 07:50:01 AM PST

We all have seen the evidence against Senator Joe Lieberman, founder and member of the Joe Lieberman for Joe Lieberman Party of Connecticut.  He has repeatedly attacked President-Elect Obama, endorsed Republicans, spoke at the Republican National Convention in support of the Republican nominee, and has overall been a general douche.

Think Progress has a long list of shit Joe Lieberman has done wrong, including...

Said Obama's plans would bring about a depression:

"Lieberman compared Democratic presidential candidate Senator Barack Obama’s economic plan to former president Herbert Hoover’s approach, which he said ‘turned a recession into a depression.’"

Claimed that bloggers like us are adding "toxicity" to politics:

Sitting next to Rep. John Boehner, Lieberman complained about "the kind of divisiveness of the cable news coverage of politics, talk radio." He said "the bloggers have added another dimension of vituperation toxicity to it. The majority of people are sick of it."

Feared a 60-seat Democratic majority:

Lieberman made clear that he firmly opposes Democrats gaining 60 seats in the Senate, saying that he "fears" for the survival of the U.S. if Democrats break the filibuster threshold.

Said investigating Katrina was like "playing gotcha":

Lieberman said he was not interested in "looking back, and assigning blame would be a waste of Congress’ time." Lieberman said he was reluctant to mount an investigation of the failures of the initial response, saying "We don’t want to play ‘gotcha’ anymore."

Opposed lifting the Bush tax cuts:

"I think it’s wrong to raise any taxes now," Lieberman said.

Refused to investigate Blackwater shootout in Iraq:

After Blackwater came under fire for allegedly killing several Iraqi civilians in September 2007, Lieberman refused to hold oversight hearings on the matter. "You’ve got to set your own priorities, and it was clear to me that other committees were going to pick this up," said Lieberman.

Senator Lieberman, I find you guilty of disloyalty, douchebaggery, dishonesty, and asshattery.

In consultation with the Democratic Caucus and Leadership, we are ready to impose the following sentence upon you:

• We will give you an ice cream cone.  However, no sprinkles.  And when you eat your ice cream cone, wishing you had sprinkles for it, maybe you'll think about what you've done.


• You are no longer allowed to hang your coat in the Democratic Caucus cloakroom.  You must hang your coat on a hook which we have had installed next to the cloakroom for your convenience.


• Your parking space has been moved two rows back.  We think the extra 19 steps each morning will give you a lot of time to reflect on your actions.


• Your committee meetings and hearings will now be aired only on CSPAN3 -- the MTV2 of CSPANs.


• The next time you go on Hannity's show on Fox News and proclaim that President Obama is a terrorist-sympathizing, baby-eating, grandma-raper, we reserve the right to be quoted by the Washington Post saying that although you are a very good guy and a close personal friend, that your comments were probably not fully accurate.  So THERE.

We are really sorry, Joe, and we assure you that we wish we did not have to launch such a stinging rebuke at you.  But you left us no choice.  

PS  Here is a picture of a cat who is looking at you with a moderately stern look which is temporarily uncomfortable but which is wholly unlikely to produce any meaningful change in your overall behavior.



UPDATE:  Kitty made slighly less stern at request of fellow Democrats.

BTW is it only me that sees the doppelgangerness between Bill Maher and Liarman?

A Warning From History

And all the clouds, that lour'd upon our house,
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.

If any of you witnessed this week’s Prime Minister’s Question Time, you’ll have been left with a keen sense of just how sky-high expectations are of our president-elect. In fact the flood of congratulatory, come adulatory statements from Labour Party front and backbenchers were ever-so-slightly cringeworthy.

Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths;
Our bruised arms hung up for monuments;

Even Prime Minister Gordon Brown joined in lavishing BO with words of praise, and I'm sure similar statements will have been made in parliamentary pits throughout the world. Apparently, the great sigh of relief could be heard from space.

Our stern alarums chang'd to merry meetings,
Our dreadful marches to delightful measures.

It may all be true, perhaps...

Grim-visag'd war hath smooth'd his wrinkled front;

But, victory shouldn’t taste as sour as it did last Tuesday, by Wednesday progressives were given a stark and timely reminder of just how far we had left to travel...

- 60 million adults in this country were prepared for an Alaskan with a double digit IQ to become the most powerful person on earth.
- Potentially, a majority of voters in one of our united states were happy to be represented by a federally convicted criminal.
- Bachman re-elected.
- Saxby Chambliss and Norm Coleman still have extremely good chances of holding onto their Senate seats, etc. etc.
- but the most disingenuous action by members of the US electorate, happened in my own state with California’s passing of Prop 8.

Those are just a few of the reasons I didn’t celebrate as long as I would’ve liked on Wednesday, but the main reason my celebrations were tempered was because I’ve experienced a sensation like this before. No, not the election of an African American as President, but that which Barack Obama represents for the rest of us -- hope.

Hope that we can bring about real change.

Hope that we can believe in our government.

Hope that we can believe in our democracy.

Hope that we can finally believe in our President - Barack Obama.

Hope, that we finally have a leader worthy of leading us.

Consider this my warning from history if you like...

Some of my compatriots will remember having a similar sensation on a lavish spring morning back in ‘97. It was a fine time, everything was going to be OK, Tony would stand for social justice, he was smart like BO, but then again most of our Pms are, we’ve never suffered like you poor sods and the dumbing down of our elected officials, sure a few idiots slipped in, but none of them would reach the heights of Prime Minister. Perhaps Oxford educated Ted Heath was the closest we came to ‘I’d like to have a beer with him’ PM, but you really wouldn‘t be wanting to ‘have a beer’ with the rest of them!

Blair was legally trained like BO, he also assumed power at 46 like BO, but that’s where the similarities stop, Blair never knew what a food stamp looked like, he came from a privileged background.

Unlike, the speed in which those dark conservative clouds that had lowered upon our house found themselves in the deep bosom of the ocean buried, the let down wasn’t at all that quick, it was a long slow painful process of disillusionment. A lot had been done in the name of power, the marginalizing of union power within the labour party, the lurch to the center, then the quick-step right (wtf is with this Center-Right bollocks anyway?), the rapid distancing from the party’s socialist roots, socialism became a dirty word very quickly under Blair, they dropped the singing of ’the Marseilles’ at Labour Party conferences faster than you could say Chairman Peter Mandellson. They moved from beer to white wine spritzers, from sandwich meetings to cheese(y) soirées.
The heart of Blair’s Labour Party was not to be found in the embattled working men’s clubs of the north, but the swanky wine bars of Islington. As the mere inference of toil was to be avoided, so the working-class were now referred to as the middle-class, (familiar?) the Labour Party no longer perspired, it aspired.

Many of the loyal ‘old-guard’ (read honest brokers) were left confused, caught in a whirlwind of Westminster whiz kids, they were left to look and feel awkward. Their tatty jackets, leather elbow patches and polyester ties were replaced on the back benches by custom cut suits, leather soles, and silk waist coats. Backbench Labour MPs no longer emitted a comforting tang of Old Spice, stale tobacco and too many left-wing meetings, but a sickly smug scent of Paco Rabanne and too many potpourri fragranced air fresheners.

After 300 years of Thatcher and followers of her ism, Brits had actually began to believe the grand conservative lie, that they were a nation of 'center-right' voters (familiar?). Blair’s Labour Party looked (and smelt) more Tory than the Tories, but sadly, it was no camouflage, it was the surreal thing, and it had all been done in the name of getting elected. What had began as the party adopting an electable (read Tory) façade, ended with the party adopting their f*&*#d up policies too.

We’d been out of power and in the political wilderness for so long we were ready to believe/become anything to capture it. I mean for all we knew this was what we had to do, this was how political party’s won power, this was necessary this was called compromise, but this was bullshit.

I’m not suggesting that this is what a Barack Obama administration will become, in fact Barack Obama's lack of Washington exposure will surely work in his favor, he is clearly a grounded human being, but I can’t say that I haven’t seen reason to question, because I have.

Call it a warning from history if you like, but please fellow progressives keep your eyes open, stay true to your beliefs, and remember that the change we need is in government, not in the way we see our government.

If something looks, smells and feels like a Republican policy, in my experience it usually means that it is a Republican policy.

Don’t be too hard on me, I’m just sayin’...

After the party....

Wow, what a couple of days!

All kinds of fall-out from the election, but surprisingly it's not all about our brand spanking new African American President, in fact it’s not at all about our fantastic new President, Americans seem to have taken that in their stride. No, there are a couple of other issues that are causing the fuss.

The after shocks are still rumbling over the passing of California’s Prop 8. There’s a sense of disbelief that the state, which so righteously became the first to permit interracial marriages in the ‘40s, should remove that same right from another victimized group of its citizens.

The understandable finger pointing has fast become finger poking, in a war of the discriminated. African Americans haven’t taken the accusations of ‘homophobia' lying down (so-to-speak), responding with claims that gays have goose stepped out of their closets as 'racists'. Well I guess they've got the 'bova boy' wardrobe ready to go.

The first real test of President Obama's administration is not going to be in the middle east, Iran or Pakistan after all, but Muscle Beach, Venice. He's gonna need to draw heavily on his renowned diplomacy if he's to settle this one.

- There are also a few Senate races being settled. In Alaska, Minnesota, and Georgia, the Republicans have gone and blown it by failing to steal the requisite number of votes on election day, now all three will be placed under the intense spotlight of an audit....oh deary me.

There's a great diary by Kula2316 over at The DailyKos today called 'Morning Reaction: Destroying the "Center-Right" Myth', it's not too long and totally worth a read, it takes on this bullshit about America being a 'center-right' nation.

64% of Americans believe government should guarantee health insurance for all. 51% of Republicans think universal healthcare coverage should be a right of every American. 73% of Americans think large corporations pay too little in taxes. 67% of Americans favor more diplomacy with our enemies. A Quinnipiac poll in July found that 63% of Americans agree with the Roe v. Wade decision. A TIME Magazine poll in July found that 58% of Americans oppose an amendment to the US Constitution that would ban gay marriage. Does that look like a center-right nation to you?

Win or lose, it's all you ever hear from republicans, it's center-right this and center-right that, but WTF is center-right when it's at home?

Frightened homophobes win in California

Yesterday we celebrated an amazing moment together, we shared in an historical achievement, and an overwhelming majority of the world’s population celebrated with us. But, for me the celebrations were soured, tainted by some shocking results a few of which seemed to get swept under the carpet for fear of 'upsetting the mood'.

But, I’ve been left with a pit in my stomach, and it’ll take more than the knowledge Americans elected the best candidate, to dislodge it.

I could’ve dealt with the ‘personality’ results that didn‘t go my way. Of course I was upset that Americans didn’t share my views on some of the crooks and bigots they elected to office, but I could deal with that.

It was hard to understand how Alaskans (what are they drinking up there?) could re-elect a convicted felon, someone who’d been found guilty of abusing his privileged status, and using his elected office for personal gain, but I could live with it.

That an openly bigoted Minnesotan Congresswoman could be returned to office stunned me, but I’d learn to live with it. That the same state could be split down the middle on whether to re-elect another shady dealer as their representative in the US Senate was also shocking, but I’d deal with that too. That we let the most disingenuous crook of all, T. Boon ‘swift boat’ Pickens get his dirty mitts on our clean energy really hurt, hasn‘t that man done enough damage already? But, I guess I’d come to terms with it somehow.

There were a smattering of other obnoxious props put before the electorate by crazed bigots telling us it’s what Jesus would‘ve wanted. Some were as restrictive as they were revolting, but the one that took the fucking biscuit had to be my own state’s Prop 8, and the failure of Californians (of all people!) to firmly shove the proposition back up the asses of the fuckers that conceived it.

C’mon people WTF was that?

Of course the result means that a vast number of democrats, and not just any old democrats, Barack Obama democrats, actually voted to remove rights, that are taken for granted by the rest of us, from fellow citizen’s just because they were different. Perhaps the most painful irony was that the proposition almost certainly would’ve failed had two voting blocks; African Americans and Hispanics not been attracted to the polls in record numbers yesterday.

Here’s what the AP exit polls told us...

California's black and Latino voters, who turned out in droves for Barack Obama, also provided key support in favor of the state's same-sex marriage ban. Seven in 10 black voters backed a successful ballot measure to overturn the California Supreme Court's May decision allowing same-sex marriage, according to exit polls for The Associated Press.


More than half of Latino voters supported Proposition 8, while whites were split. Religious groups led the tightly organized campaign for the measure, and religious voters were decisive in getting it passed. Of the seven in 10 voters who described themselves as Christian, two-thirds backed the initiative. Married voters and voters with children strongly supported Proposition 8. Unmarried voters were heavily opposed.

Prop 8 is a dark stain on what should’ve been a glorious victory of light over darkness, of tolerance over ignorance, of hope over fear, but instead we receive a (timely) reminder that some Americans still have a long way to travel to reach that promised land.

If the rest of the country had displayed the same level of ignorance and intolerance that Californians did yesterday in voting to adopt the hateful Proposition 8, we’d have woken this morning with a one dimensional 72 year old President-elect and an Alaskan with a double digit IQ about to become our next Vice President.

A poster called LJS commented on the LA Times story today...

Of all the communities in the US, one would think that African Americans would not want to discriminate against another community. How wrong is that assumption! It seems suffering over two hundred years of oppression does not teach one tolerance and compassion. It is a bitter and sad day for California's gay and lesbian community. It is also hard to grasp that we voted in our first African American president while carving permanent, legislative discrimination and bigotry into our state constitution.

Frankly, it’s an outrage and an insult. I am ashamed that I live in California today. I look at the faces of my friends and neighbors knowing that just over half of them are frightened homophobes, unable to show the same tolerance so often asked of others.

Remember, remember the 5th of November...

Across England tonight people will be celebrating Bonfire Night, or Guy Fawkes Night. They will build giant bonfires, and prepare ‘Guys’, effigies of Guy Fawkes, which will be burnt on top of the fire at the end of the night, fun eh?

Bonfire Night celebrates a failed political plot (The Gunpowder Plot) to blow up the King of England and parliament. The (Catholic) plotters were discovered, and eventually captured, or killed during capture, the unfortunate plotters who survived capture were found guilty of treason and sentenced to be hung, drawn and quartered, a death as unpleasant as it sounds.

A distant ancestor of mine, Thomas Percy (the attractive one in the middle of the group), was one of the fortunate plotters who avoided the ignominy of being hung drawn and quartered instead dying in a sword fight whilst trying to evade King James’ soldiers.

Here’s the rhyme that’ll be sung as the ‘Guy’ burns tonight...

Remember, remember the Fifth of November,
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,
I can think of no reason
Why the Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.

Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, t'was his intent
To blow up the King and Parli'ment.
Three-score barrels of powder below
To prove old England's overthrow;

By God's providence he was catch'd
With a dark lantern and burning match.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, let the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!

YES WE DID!

President-Elect Barack Obama

It's hard to follow such a dignified speech...

But I am ready to cock my socks off tonight! My Obama Knee Socks, to be exact. If I can get my crappy camera working, I'll have Dirkypants take a picture of me tonight, freaking out in my navy knee socks with big red Obama letters, spilling my drink all over the place! It's going to be a glorious and tension-laden evening. We'll be drinking a $2 Bottle of Wine from Rite Aid (not Charles Shaw "2 Buck Chuck" - evil), since we only have 37.54 in el banco right now. But no matter, I've got my socks, we've got the news, and the booze!! Party on!

***I will formally introduce myself later. There's too much stress tonight.

Election Day Nov 4th 2008....President Barack Obama

So, today’s the day, and as expected there are numerous reports of shenanigans going on, aimed at stopping the American people from having their say.

From notices sent to students and Hispanic voters informing them that the election has been delayed by a day, to African Americans in Virginia being intimidated by uniformed police who have been menacingly circling their polling stations…nice. To all kinds of problems with the machines, not enough of them, not arriving on time, and/or not working, and/or working but switching a vote for BO to McCain. To robo-calls informing voters to go to the wrong polling station, to polling stations being handed the wrong county’s voter information. Dripping wet ballots no fitting into the machines, to the GOP trying to get a ten day extension for voters that will preference McCain, whilst GOP governors and election officials refuse to allow the polls to stay open for an extra couple of hours in order to deal with the massive demand.

The disenfranchisement of American citizens’ votes is widespread and systematic.

Of course the mainstream media have been all over it, salivating at the latest inferred intimidation, but not one network daring to ask the obvious question; why are these problems effecting a disproportionate number of African Americans, Hispanics and young people? I mean it doesn’t take a political science professor to work out that these are demographics favorable to Barack Obama.

Why is it that Republican pundits can sit on television and jovially tell us that they’d prefer a low turnout? Surely, if a democracy is to truly reflect the wishes of the people, then the people need to have their voices heard, not muffled or silenced. But, the sad truth is that Republicans know they wouldn’t have a hope in hell of getting elected if the American electorate actually voted.

Which is why, during all the wall to wall election coverage on TV today, you’ll not hear that question asked. Republicans have deceived the American people into believing this is a democratic system, when in reality it’s a hotchpotch of undemocratic processes aimed at disenfranchising great tracts of the electorate, and keeping a select few in government. Now, that’s what I call un-American!

If there’s one thing that comes out of this election, other than electing the first intelligent president for a generation, is that we desperately need to create a political system that promotes democracy not runs and hides from it.

I remember watching that idiot ‘W’ after his re-election in 04 he was surrounded by a group of very smug looking Republican officials, as he gave a very different speech to the one 4 years earlier. This time they knew they‘d just scraped through, and Bush wanted to make it clear that he didn‘t give a flying f**k about the opinions of the 49% who’d had the audacity to attempt to dethrone him. He told us that he couldn’t have been given a stronger mandate from the American people, and that now he could really get down to work. You know, dividing the country along ethnic, regional, political and religious lines, getting more Americans killed and maimed, getting more of our allies killed and maimed, losing old peoples’ pensions and destroying their hard-earned retirements, and shitting on the hopes and dreams of America’s youth.

It was horrible to watch, but, it’s over now, and tonight the Democrats led by their true and just President Barack Obama, will be given the greatest mandate for change received by a government in a generation. But, with great mandates come great expectations, and the Obama administration have an opportunity to deliver something fundamental to our future progress - a functioning democracy.

With that mandate they must change the political/electoral system. It has to become inclusive, and involve all Americans. Much to the chagrin of America’s elite, I believe they should even consider compulsory voting. America should be the world’s #1 democracy, but the current non-system is beyond a joke.

Being president of the United States is still the single most powerful position on the planet, so it’s no surprise that US presidential elections galvanize such interest around the world. Decisions made here effect everyone, believe me it’s not only Americans who feel cheated when your elections are stolen.

For Americans not to operate a democracy that involves all Americans is bordering on the criminal. 95% of the world’s population are not Americans, which means that somewhere in the region of 1% of the world’s population actually voted for the person who‘s decisions effect the other 99%. Registered voters in the US are in a uniquely privileged position, and you have a responsibility to all the world’s people to use that privilege.

It is in BO’s power to kick open the doors of democracy, and in doing so allow the American people to speak, and finally put an end to the self-serving, morally and ethically corrupt Republican party.

Apart from the 'Vote' button, the images were all found on republican/christian blogs, I skipped the 'a vote for Obama is a vote for terrorism' sign. But, reading the blogs it dawned on me just how nice these christians are, they're all so tolerant, just like Jesus, and not at all ignorant, you betchya!

Election day message from Chairman Dean

Tomorrow Republicans should lose by a landslide, but will they?

God, I can’t wait for tomorrow, and the end of this election. The worse aspect of it for me has been the near constant barrage of two-faced republican surrogates on TV desperately trying to look competent and trustworthy, like their party didn’t just fuck everything up.

They sit there like all the death and destruction had nothing to do with them. If the US media, which has been the biggest disappointment of this entire election, weren’t so palpably in the pockets of their corporate paymasters, they may have asked a couple of those scoundrels to explain why they had supported Bush so vehemently for the last 8 years.

Maybe pushed them to say why they voted against things like regulation of our financial markets, or financing our veterans, why they blocked environmental moves, then ask where they stand on abortion, and why? Perhaps they’d tell the viewers why they still insisted on misleading them, of lying to the American people about Obama’s tax policies. Why wouldn’t they just tell the truth? they obviously believe there’s a reason the middle-class shouldn’t receive a tax break, why not tell us? and why it was they’re so desperate to ensure the rich kept getting disproportionately richer?

I mean this is their plan, if they thought it was so shit then instead of lying about it, why didn’t they try changing it? Or, is it because the US media are such corporate lap dogs they knew they’d get away with it?

Finally, I’d ask where they stood on the causes of global warming, and evolution, yeah, I’d ask which dinosaurs their grandpa kept as pets?

Of course no such questions were asked, or not that I saw during my wall to wall two year coverage of this election, it’s a fucking joke!

Instead, they got the usual lame questions from the incredibly lame media, the questioning of politicians by the media has been truly pathetic, and is accountable for the way this election, and future elections will be fought. These repugnant surrogates knew it, and had the gall to sit there and tell bare faced lies to the public, some even managed to keep a straight face whilst claiming that 27 year Senator McGrumpy and his cronies were best placed to make the changes Washington needs.

The media never pointed out that, perhaps the time to change Washington and it’s wasteful ways was when they were in power! But, of course republicans didn’t give a crap then.

Who the fuck are the republicans kidding? They have held power for the last 8 years, and controlled the senate for 12 of the last 16 years. Their president has presided over the most divisive period since the civil war, eroded any standing we had with the rest of the world, and indebted the country so deeply that Americans will be working for the Chinese for a couple of generations to come.

It‘s no coincidence that their beloved president‘s approval rating of 30% just about mirrors the percentage of republicans in the country!

They sit there spouting rubbish about bi-partisan this, and across the aisle that, but it’s all bollocks. The only reason McCain and his cronies would ’reach across the aisle’ was if they were in the minority in the senate and had no choice.

Americans better pray that Democrats receive a filibuster proof senate majority tomorrow, because the republicans that are left standing after tomorrow’s bloodbath will be sub-human, and will have no qualms about blocking acts of congress aimed at helping Americans and America. Their basic philosophy will be the more shit they can pile on America and her citizens, the crappier they’ll make Obama look, believing that they’ll have a chance of winning back power in four years time under President Praline.

Make no mistake these people are power hungry parasites, and they’re dangerous. They need to be thrown out into the cold, and the door slammed shut tight behind them. Tomorrow’s election couldn’t come a moment too early.

Barack Obama's grandmother Madelyn Dunham has died RIP

Barack Obama‘s grandmother Madelyn Dunham died today, a day before she could see her grandson elected as the most powerful person on earth the President of the United States of America. What a job she did, my thoughts are with BO and his family, let her rest in peace.

Here's a picture of her taken during one of her happiest days, with husband Stanley and daughter Anne (BO's ma).

Just in case you missed it....

Cock The Vote...

According to most sources the latest polls show the race tightening a little. Sure, I know that BO moving from a 12 pt lead to a 9 pt lead in PA isn‘t gonna make a toss of difference, but still, have I missed something? I mean wtf has McGrumpy done over the past week to make anyone more likely to vote for him? He’s been the same stumbling, bumbling old double-talker, and his nudge, nudge, wink, wink running mate has only been slipping in the polls I've been reading, so what‘s with the tightening? Or, is the republican influenced mainstream media blatantly attempting to lower people’s expectations of a BO victory, so it won’t seem like such a shock when the Republicans steal it, again.

Just in case you thought that the world's greatest democracy actually operated as a democracy, it’s worth checking out Muckraker’s list on TPM, which highlights the magnitude of the GOP’s efforts to suppress votes across the country. As you'll see, so far generally they've been failing, but not from lack of trying, they figure if you throw enough shit at a blanket eventually some may stick.

On the one hand you have a massive effort being made by the Obama campaign to get people inspired and involved in their democracy, and on the other you have an equally Herculean effort being expended by McGrumps and the GOP in shadowy court rooms across the country aimed at suppressing those same people. Disenfranchising voters has been the single biggest focus of republican campaigns for the last decade, and in the past it’s worked, so they‘re not gonna be stopping anytime soon. Still, as you can see in Muckraker's TPM piece, this time Democrats have been prepared for the inevitable Republican assault on our democracy, and have been fighting fire with fire. Which, is bad news for the GOP as the last thing republicans want is a functioning democracy, it would mean they‘d have to start adopting policies that actually appeal to people.

All being well, the Democrats should win control of all three branches of government this election, and in the process they'll have fired up millions of new voters, who’ll probably want to vote again in the future. Now, that's just rubbing salt into the GOP’s open wounds.

Infomercials, Tennis Masters, Mark Begich and the latest Ted Stevens poll

Sorry for the silence yesterday but it was the magician’s b’day and that takes preference over stuff like historical US elections, and historical achievements by British tennis players, and historical infomercials by history making presidential candidates with history making amounts of money to burn.

Anyway, normal service is now resumed, so let's get into that historical infomercial. Now, don’t get me wrong I want BO and his band of merry Democrats to thump those horribly corrupt, self-serving election stealers out of the park, but c’mon that infomercial was lame. Of course the magician loved it, as I’m sure every girl in the country did, except the ones scratching backward Bs on their faces, but it was about as hard hitting as Gone With The Wind.

Then again, BO could hardly have kicked off with a black power salute and cut away to press clips of the LA riots, and Rodney King getting his head kicked in. The point is he’s winning so if he wants to force 30 mins of Cramer vs. Cramer onto the nation he can, it’s up to the other bloke to pull something dramatic out of his canvass shopping bag.

If you missed it and you‘re a girl you can catch it here...

Other than that, it’s good to see that the first poll since the Republican’s corrupter-in-chief Ted Stevens was found bang to rights, shows Mark Begich with an 8 pt lead. We realised that we've only ever run pictures of the old evil doer Stevens, so for a refreshing change, just below, you can see a picture of the nice young man who's destined to become Alaska's next representative in the United States Senate, ladies and gentlemen I give to you Mark Begich.

I was starting to worry about our cousins up in Alaska, having had to suffer through a detailed introduction to the woman they elected to govern them, the thought of a convicted felon being elected as their senate representative would’ve been a bridge too far. All hail the sensible heads of the Alaskan electorate!

In other presidential polls out today, BO seems to be holding firm in all the key swing states, and PA which for some unknown reason was chosen as the place McCuster will make his last stand, shows BO holding a solid high single digit lead. Five days out that's gotta be good.

Finally, I have to give a shout out to Andy Murray who’s currently competing in the Paris Masters, aiming to become the first tennis player in history to win three back to back Masters Series events in the same season. Previously winning in Cincinnati and Madrid, he arrived in Paris having successfully defended his St. Petersburg open title. Today he moved into the last eight by beating Verdasco and extending his winning streak to 14 since losing to Federer in the final of the US Open...get in there son!

McCuster's Last Stand - Communist tax plans, a Filibuster proof senate and Joe 'The' Biden

OK, so we enter the last 7 days of campaigning and Pants have started 'McCuster's Last Stand', each day we'll feature a couple of Colonel McCuster's choice attacks, and trust they are as hopeless as the original.

So, what’s first in the 7 day series?

- Well since yesterday’s news that the morally and ethically corrupt Ted ‘bridge to nowhere’ Stevens is now officially legally corrupt too, the Get Off (my lawn) Party has been running around telling anyone that’ll listen there's a distinct possibility Democrats could win enough new Senate seats to achieve a ‘filibuster proof’ Senate. Which is a Senate comprising sixty (of the one hundred) senators who belong to, or are prepared to vote for the same party, thus securing said party with a large enough majority to avoid a ‘filibuster’.

Personally, I’ve never thought of a filibuster as being very democratic. Just because a president can disenfranchise the majority of the popular vote, I don’t see why one senator should be able to s*%t on the wishes of 59 others, but for the GOP, that’s not the point. The GOP see the potential loss of this glitch in our democracy as something Americans should fear, they’re basically saying...

look, we know that when we had power we f^%$#d everything up, and we know that we’ve been totally useless at coming up with any new ideas to fix the problems we've created, but now we’ve become so disliked that there’s a real chance you’re going to elect enough Democrats that they’ll have the power to actually do the things they’ve said they’re going to do.....Please don't.

Call me old fashioned, but an appealling argument it is not. Isn’t this exactly what people are voting for? I mean they’re voting for Democrats because they want them to make changes, they want them to do all the stuff they said would.

If the Republicans think this is their best shot of holding onto power, they're even more deluded than we thought, bring on the filibuster proof senate!

BTW here's that picture of happy old Ted (Stevens) for anyone that missed it yesterday....enjoy!

- Colonel McCuster’s other ’last stand’ is based on his sudden discovery that BO is actually a communist, as according to McCuster he wants to ‘spread the wealth’ by taxing people. The votemaster crew have their take on it today...

...Is McCain going to repeal the federal income tax? If so, how does he plan to finance the government? Or does he mean that the difference between the top rate of 39.6% under Bill Clinton and the top rate of 36% under George Bush is the difference between communism and capitalism?

It’s a good point, BO has all these communist/socialist ideas about taxing people, but McCuster hasn‘t come up with an alternative of his own. Perhaps McCuster sees all those previous presidents; George Bush, Reagan and Nixon as communists too, I mean they all taxed people, and as the votemaster folks explain…

...The purpose of the progressive federal income tax is to spread the wealth...

You know, spreading the wealth into maintaining bridges and roads, and buying new fire engines and police cars, and paying their wages, and keeping our over-used volunteer army equipped with bullets and stuff.

...That Democrats have supported a progressive income tax for decades is hardly news. Does McCain want to keep the tax….It seems this is just another desperate attempt to attack Obama rather than being a serious policy proposal for tax reform...

Senator McCuster it’s all well and good to go about calling people names like communists and socialists, but I’d suggest next time you actually get yourself a plan together, which shows how you’re going to be different.

I mean if you are going to abolish tax that’s great, you may even gain a few thousand libertarian votes too, but people are bound to ask how you intend paying for everything without any tax income. However, if you intend keeping the tax system, then by your book, doesn’t that make you a communist wealth distributor too?

Now, I know BO is taking the easy option and sticking with the tax system, and just aiming to reduce the burden of tax on the middle class, only increasing it on the top 1% of earners, and major corporations, but that doesn‘t really make him a communist/socialist now does it McCuster?

- Finally, I was told that McCuster referred to his old middle-class buddy senator Joe Biden as Joe ‘the’ Biden yesterday, Freudian slip there Senator.

Oldest man on earth found guilty of corruption, plus Palin is 'Diva'

- Finally, the oldest crook on earth, Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska has been found guilty of corruption, it had seemed for a while that Stevens was gonna avoid a verdict before the election, as one his jurors had been given leave to return home for a family problem. However, the judge drafted in a reserve juror, and had the final deliberations repeated, and then it was curtains for Ted.

In the weeks running up to the verdict, Stevens had managed to BS the good people of Alaska into believing that he may be innocent after all, and his performance in the opinion polls reflected that growing belief, that was until a couple of hours ago when the jury returned a unanimous guilty verdict on all charges.

All of this means that Mark Begich Stevens' Democratic opponent in the race for his Senate seat will be sending him some flowers for his new deck, and a very thankful thank you card.

- There are growing reports of a split between the McGrumpy camp and Blunderwoman's handlers, with McGrumpy staffers referring to Blunderwoman as a ‘Diva’, and as having ‘gone rogue’. It's funny all this has happened within a couple of days of McGrumpy coming out and telling the world she’d be giving back all those clothes at the end of the election, maybe she was left wondering what she was gonna wear if they won!

George Wallace, Georgia, the new caring sharing Sarah Palin, and the repugnant Brad Blakeman

Another great day for electoral votes, shame you can’t keep them as you go along and the candidate with the most electoral votes over the term of the campaign wins!

As a reminder of how cool it is to smoke, here's a pic of Cool Hand Barack!

I especially like Georgia, I mean it’s becoming a close fight, today BO trails by five points. This year happens to be the 40th anniversary of segregationist George Wallace’s run in that nasty three way Presidential election of ‘68. In that year Georgia along with a handful of southern neighbors voted for Wallace, and the continued segregation of races, you know, like black people at the back of the bus, different water fountains, different schools and a different justice system.

Anyway imagine, the historic synergy of a man called Barack Obama winning Georgia on his way to winning the general election. The USA would have their first African American president and Georgia would‘ve sent the loudest message possible that certain things were not just changing, but had changed.

- I ask, is there no end to the humanity of the wonderfully caring running mate of McRubbish? she’s already sacrificed so much for the sake of this great nation, we know she’s responsible for pulling so many people of opposing views together, selflessly working for us. But, today, Sarah Palin takes her nationwide campaign of inclusion to a new level.

We’re told that Sarah (I hope you don’t mind ma’am) is going to be given an auto-prompter to read that’s all about special needs children, and let’s face it Sarah should know best, because she has one all of her own.

We’ve heard from those people who just don’t want to be included in her campaign of inclusion, moaning about things like her past record of cutting funding from programs for little special ones in Alaska. But, these moaners don’t have special children of their own, so how would they know what’s best? Sarah does, which puts her in a unique position to talk about it.

- Meanwhile McNasty is continuing on his bus tour of PA looking to strike a book deal for Joe the plumber. We’ll let you know how he gets on.

- Of course as we know BO’s in Hawaii checking in on his gravely ill grandmother, doctor’s have told him there is a very strong possibility that she won’t make it to election day, and he wanted to spend as much time as he could afford with the woman who brought him up.

As it’s just a few days until the election, and as BO has a huge secret service detail, and needs to ensure he is in full contact, he decided to take his office plane with him. But, as McNasty is never one to miss an opportunity to badly misread a situation, in grand mavericky style he swam against the massive tide of sympathy for BO, and had Brad Blakeman (a surrogate) go on MSNBC and paint the trip as an indulgent holiday ‘to visit grandma’, and wasteful spending on a level of Sarah Palin‘s clothes budget.

Unfortunately for McGrumpy, most people understand that when you’re a week away from election day, and you are one of the two primary candidates, you’ll need to be in constant contact with your nationwide campaign, and to do so you’d probably not want to have to rely on the public library opening times for internet access.

Brad Blakeman epitomizes a lot of what is, and has been wrong with the modern Republican party. They're detatched from the real world, incapable of showing empathy, and right now, as everything seems to be going wrong for them, there's a lot of bitterness, and finger pointing. Perhaps Brad was pushing for a slot on the Palin 2012 campaign, but I wouldn't bank on it Brad, the Republican party's days are numbered and it'll take a long time for this country to forgive what they've done.

ConservativesForChange.com

Sure, we hear about repugs voting for BO, and racist Hillary stalkers voting for McDroopy all the time but, you don't really believe they exist, well not the repugs for BO anyway. Now, take a look at the registered Republicans in the vid, they look real. Real republicans voting for BO, how great is that?



It's gotta be all over bar the fraud.

Senator McGoo, Ted Stevens, baby killers and mangled messages

So, according to McDesperate on the stump this morning, we now know the truth about BO, and his evil ‘wealth re-distribution plan’, apparently he wants to create a massive welfare system, but where did Johnny McCrappy get this piece of red hot info? Well, it came from BO himself. Whilst explaining how a tax cut worked, BO pointed out that it meant working people would just pay less tax, so they would save money, therefore the middle class would directly benefit from it.

To highlight his point, he went on to say that it wasn't as if he was taking money from working people and giving it to say, a massive welfare system....you see what happened there? BO said the words ‘welfare system’, and with an opponent as quick witted as old McGrumps you just can't go taking risks like speaking words. As quick as a whistle McGrumpy cleverly changed it around, and told everyone that BO was creating a giant welfare system for all of his African American friends, which would be really, really scary.....Brilliant John, just brilliant!

- I don’t like the Ted Steven’s court case one bit. First off, I don’t like that the story’s disappeared from the front pages, and secondly when a jury asks to break for the night during deliberations, because they’re feeling ’too stressed’, it's a bad sign, if they all agreed on a verdict they’d be back out there in a flash with their black caps on.

Then again this is an Alaskan jury, and you know they're gonna be split along partisan lines, which in Alaska means 70% self-serving, corrupt repugnants, to 30% angelic democrats. Their instinct would be to aquit the oldest man on earth, so in those circumstances perhaps a long debate is a good thing. Anyway, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see, and keep everything crossed for Mark Begich.

-The latest repugnant 527 TV commercial in Califronia accuses that evil black man running for president of hating babies. They refer to a speech he gave on teen pregnancy in which he talked about the desperate need for all new babies to be born into a loving environment, they needed to be wanted, and how teen pregnancies often left the mother feeling ‘punished’ by the arrival of a baby.

The ad - shows the clip of his speech where he talks of teen mothers feeling ‘punished with a baby’ then the clip abruptly stops, and cuts to a late twenties/early thirties(?) mother who repeats punished with a baby! punished senator? Then the ad wraps up warning us not to trust a president who doesn't care about the sanctity of life etc.

So there you have it, according to McNasty, a vote for BO is a vote for baby killing.

Of course it all sounds quite unbelievable, but as I dug a little deeper I came across the picture above, which seems to show Senator Obama trying to eat a baby. Of course, on seeing it I was as confused as you, I searched for some explanation, but came up with nothing. Finally, I realized it takes two to tango, and my dance partner was the devil on this one, I decided to go straight to the horses mouth, and contact the Obama campaign. I called and pushed for a response, maybe I pushed a little too hard, here’s what they told me…‘Sir, as I explained we’re extremely busy at the moment, no one by that name works here….sir, you’re being ridiculous, if you don’t have a name of someone you would like to speak with, I’ll be forced to hang up….no, he‘s traveling at the moment, please sir, unless you give me a real name I’m going to hang up…..OK, then I’m hanging up…’ and, they hung up.

Now, don’t shoot the messenger, I’m just putting it out there, make of it what you will.

A tax dodging liar, and a chicken McNegative flier....

So, by now we all know that Joe, the plumber who told BO he earned $250K/Year, and wanted to buy his boss's business, but was worried by the level of tax he’d have to pay under an Obama presidency, isn’t called Joe at all, he’s called Sam, and he doesn’t earn $250K/Year, but $60K, and he isn’t a plumber (licensed anyway), and apparently never planned on buying his bosses business. Hell! It even turns out he’d pay less taxes under BO’s plan, but the bloke’s not bothered by that because he doesn’t even pay the fucking taxes he’s supposed to, the dick owes back taxes!

Sadly, I can’t say that I was particularly surprised by any of the revelations. I mean they didn’t vet their vice presidential pick, so why bother checking out some unlicensed tax dodger in the woods of Ohio? Anyway, a trifling insignificance such as the truth isn’t gonna get in the way of McGrumpy telling what he thinks is a great story.

The exposure of Joe-Sam’s potpourri of falsehoods hasn’t dulled McGrumps enthusiasm for claiming Joe-Sam speaks for all real Americans. He mentions the bloke more often than Giuliani mentions 911, and is even running a series of TV commercials telling us how great Joe/Sam is, and how all real Americans are like him.

Maybe his point is that real Americans dislike taxes so much, they just don’t pay them! Instead, they leave it up to fake Americans to pick up the bill for all the schools, hospitals, fire trucks and the fucking bridges they drive over on the way to their unlicensed work.

But, does McCain really believe that real Americans are like Joe-Sams? We‘ve long known that truth is a cheap commodity for the McCain campaign, and maybe I’m just being politically naive, but surely they could’ve come up with a better roll model? Perhaps coined a story that was at least loosely based on the truth.

Still, I guess I should be happy that the McCain campaign is about the most dis-organized in history, lurching from one confusing non-message to the next. This week, they have a lying tax-dodger as their Ohio pin-up, and the chicken McNegatives flier campaign going on in Arizona. Bring it on!

ding ding all change here please!

Here’s something interesting I noticed on electoral-vote.com, who are the shit btw. They’ve listed all the tight House scraps according to how the corresponding district voted in the past, i.e. if in the previous election the district elected a republican by a margin of 54% - 48% it’s considered as an R+6 district. R being republican and +6 representing the margin the republican won by, if a democrat won a district 52% - 45% it would be D+7, get the drift?

Anyway, their list starts with the strongest republican districts down to the strongest democratic districts. The idea being that at the top of the list, if all was equal, you should find republicans winning in the strong republican districts, and as you go down the list to the strong democratic districts you should find democrats winning. But, as everyone keeps telling us, it’s not a good time to be a republican, so all’s not equal, which is why it’s not surprising to see a few democratic challengers performing well in what were strong republican districts. OK, but what is surprising, is there are almost as many republican challengers doing well in the strong democratic districts, and that shouldn’t be happening.

In this environment a democrat running in a strong democratic district should be whooping their republican challenger's bottom, so why aren't they? Well, it's clear that the vast majority of the electorate want change, but could it be that they’re so desperate for change they want fresh faces regardless of party affiliation?

I've no doubt it's a bad time to be a republican, but perhaps it's an even worse time to be an incumbent, just saying...

You can check the list here, go to previous reports find Oct 21st and scroll about halfway down the page.

Blah, blah, socialist, blah, Joe/Sam the plumber/tax dodger

Looks like it's back to business as usual for the Plain/McRubbish campaign with more nasty lies and false accusations, the latest being that BO's a French socialist.

Now, I'm not quite sure what's so bad about French socialists, except for being French of course ;) but, what does amaze me is that we're supposed to accept that they've only just realized. I mean they've been at this campaigning malarky for a year or so, yet McGrumpa's gang reckon they only just noticed that BO's a communist, and let's face it, that's where they're going with this. Perhaps they just caught him with a copy of Das Kapital, or getting the familly fitted out for Chairman Mao suits, but I doubt it, my money's on Johnny telling fibs again, you see he just can't help himself.

Despite the latest revelations it seems events over the weekend cost McGrumpa a few more million votes. Secretary of State Colin Powell's considered endorsement of BO will have had an impact on some voters, but there's no doubt that the greatest damage suffered by McRubbish this weekend was caused by his little Alaskan helper's uncomfortable SNL appearance, how satirical did she look?

Andy Murray wins second Masters event in Madrid....Get in there!

Andy Murray beat the frog with the fancy pants name; Gilles Simon to win the Madrid Masters. Andy becomes the first Brit ever to win two Masters series events (Cincinnati and Madrid), and he did it in style, winning them back to back in the same season.

Here’s a nice picture of him holding the glass half vase he won?

Andy’s win in Madrid means he also becomes the fist Brit to win four titles in a season, you see we‘ve not been very good at tennis in blighty since the players stopped wearing long pantaloons on court.

All in all Andy’s scorching form means that he is likely to close out the season as world number four, which will mean he’ll enter the Australian Open seeded at #4, and so in a great position to challenge the three stooges at the top of the game; Federer, Nadal, and Djokavic.

I wouldn’t bet against Murray winning a slam next year, and if he can slot one in the can early, say Australia, he may find himself challenging for the number three slot.

In my mind the only thing marring his great performances of late, has been his insistence on celebrating his titles in the most ridiculous fashion by dancing a Scottish jig on court (picture left). I mean he does it in front of all those people, it’s just embarrassing Andy, please drop it for next season.

Murray now heads to St. Petersburg to defend his title there this week, then he’ll be in gay Paris for their Masters event at the end of the month. Get in there son!

Secretary of State Colin Powell endorses Barack Obama for President...

We warned McGrumpa that his robo-calls were losing him voters, now they've turned off a Republican Secretary of State...

OMG, better late than never, eh Kyra?

By popular request, this not so fresh item from the CNN newsroom...

10.30am Saturday morning and I'm already in a sports induced slump

It’s 10.30 on Saturday morning, and I’m already in a sports induced semi-slump. The magician’s away this weekend birthdaying with her folks, so I was planning on watching Andy Murray‘s Madrid Masters semi final with Federer, which meant waking up at the ridiculous time of 4.30. I mean 4.30’s not even morning it’s still yesterday.

Still, I’m a big fan of all things British in sports, and I actually managed to get myself propped up in bed, the cat woke up too, checked out what was going on, flashed me a look to remind me how pitiful I was, then went back to sleep.

I was desperately tired, with a slight hang over making it worse, but I managed to stay awake to see Federer win a boring first set, and right through to the point where Murray broke Fed back to go 4-2 up in the second. Unlike me, as I fatigued Murray began to wake up, and started playing some decent tennis, it looked like it was gonna go to three sets, so I followed the cat’s lead and went back to sleep, so I could give myself a fighting chance of getting up again at 7 in time for the Reading/Preston game.

Just before the 7 o’clock alarm the cat woke me up licking my face with her sandpaper tongue, she has breakfast at 6 (ish) when the magician’s in town. I dragged myself outta bed made the cat her breakfast, and sat down to check on the Murray result….he’d won it! then I logged onto the BBC to watch 2 minute text updates on the Reading match, an excruciating way of following a sporting event...

32:45 - Hunt crosses to Doyle, hooked shot, wide left.

35:21 - Attacking throw in Doyle

37:16 - Defending throw in Armstrong

38:56 - GOAL - Hunt headed center goal from 6 yards (Ass. Rosenior)

40:45 - Defending throw in Armstrong

...I’m not kidding.

Anyway, I don’t wanna dwell on it, we lost 2-1, after leading and hitting the woodwork half a dozen times, and totally dominating, disaster.

So, it’s not even 11am and I feel (half )crap, a tennis final doesn’t quite offset a Reading loss, still I guess there’s always Tuesday night for Reading to get back on track. C’mon Andy!

Keith on Joe the Plumber

Just cuz he's better than me....

Robo-lies cost McNasty his New Hampshire vote!

So the McCrappy campaign's robo-calling is already backfiring, their lies already turning off voters.

Today, a 92 yr old swing voter, and quite possibly McCrap's only potential New Hampshire vote, announced that after hearing the scurrilous robo-lies he's decided against voting for 'the special interests one'.

Talk about a schizophrenic campaign! On the one hand you have McCain claiming during the 3rd presidential debate that he has and would continue to call out any republican who dares to make contentious claims about his opponent, then the very next day the RNC set about spending their last pennies smearing his opponent....perhaps McGrumpa doesn't see the RNC as being republican.

Could it be that the McCain campaign is as disorganized as it is dishonest?

P.S. The photograph is not one of John McCain's tele-robots, it features a perfectly innocent child who has absolutely nothing to do with the desperate presidential candidate.

BO palls around with some real terrorists!

Yaaaawwwwwnnnn! Well I’m bored of all this political crap, nothing juicy’s happened for hours now, I’ve no interest in fake plumbers who don’t earn 250K, and who don’t pay their taxes, but still complain about them. I don’t give a flying fuck about McGrumpa’s Letterman appearance, he looked uncomfortable, and obviously just showed up to try and stop the bleeding. What has this country come to when a late night comedy show host has to be pandered to by a presidential nominee? I don’t know what was more painful McGrumpa’s groveling, or Letterman’s fake humility, sickening.

The only thing I found of interest over the last few hours was BO palling around with some real terrorists at that gathering of be-cassocked Catholic’s in NYC, McGrumpa was there too. Both addressed the white-tie audience -- incidentally, why do people in the 21st Century still insist on dressing up like Bing Crosby? Apparently, the point of the whole brahuha is to make jokes while poor people die from hunger in the streets, although McGrumps gave a good account of himself BO was the funier of the two, is there nothing McGrumps can do better?

Here are their respective deliveries, McGrumpa went first...

McGrumps


The Messiah

Thursday Oct 16th - day after 3rd Presidential Debate

Last night’s debate was the last in the 4 game series, early polling of independents showed that Obama won this one as convincingly as he and his running mate Joe Biden have won the three previous debates.

Apparently Barack Obama and his buddies at that evil organization they call ACORN have been attacking the ‘very fabric of our democracy’!?

McCain threw everything he could at cool hand BO last night, even accusing BO and his buddies at ACORN of 'threatening the very fabric of our democracy' but came out looking like an angry old curmudgeon. Grumpa McNasty just couldn’t sit still, constantly rustling around in his seat making audible grunts and groans as Barack Obama spoke. When the camera was on him he smirked a lot and adopted more sarcasm than an English Waiter serving a plaid suited Texan, in short he was the most un-presidential curmudgeon imaginable. However, according to the numerous republican pundits employed by the networks for post debate punditry, this was exactly what they wanted to see, yeah don’t ask!

Here’s a few other opinions....
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First, there was this from Tom Daschle on Countdown, I paraphrase: "about 2/3 of the American people see John McCain as an angry candidate, it looked to me that he spent the last 90 minutes, trying to convince the other third."…..brilliant!

Check it out direct Daschle’s about a minute in…

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Taegan Goddard’s Political Wire
Reactions to Last Night's Debate
If you missed last night's presidential debate, CQ Politics has the "bests and mosts."

I thought Obama won. Here are some other reactions.

Ezra Klein: "McCain scored the most points, and lost the debate. He was looking to land shots, and often succeeded. But the effort to find openings and vulnerabilities left him with little time to appear presidential. And if he connected with jabs, he never found his knockout blow. Worse, the attacks came at a cost: The angry energy showed on McCain's face as clearly as in his answers."

David Yepsen: "John McCain lost the final debate of the 2008 presidential campaign Wednesday night. As a result, he may well have lost the election, too."

Chuck Todd: "As for the big pic, it's hard to see how this debate changed the trajectory of this race. It's now clear, for posterity, that Obama won the debate season. McCain won the convention season and that got him in the game, but the combination of the massive economic downturn with the debates has put McCain in as deep of a hole as any nominee has been this late in the process since Bob Dole. The map continues to look more favorable to Obama than McCain. But it's now in the hands of the voters. There's not much more information left to learn."

Andrew Sullivan: "Obama won this for the third time. A small prediction: there will be YouTube mash-ups of McCain's facial reactions on the split screen. And they will have a longer life, for good or ill, than many of the substantive exchanges."

Kevin Drum: "I know I'm partisan, but McCain seemed completely out of his depth tonight. He was flitting from point to point all night without ever putting together a coherent argument, and then grabbing miscellaneous attacks from the rolodex in his head whenever some bright idea popped into his mind. His energy level was weirdly erratic, tired at times but then suddenly perking up whenever he got annoyed by something and remembered some zinger that he wanted to fire off."

Marc Ambinder: "Tonight, we saw a McXplosion. Every single attack that Sen. McCain has ever wanted to make, he took the opportunity tonight to make. Around 30 minutes in, McCain seemed to surrender the debate to his frustrations, making it seem as if he just wanted the free television."

Joe Klein: "The structural weakness of McCain's position was evident every time Obama described a program -- health care, education, energy -- in the third debate. CNN's focus group of independent Ohioans would send the dials on their electric gizmos spinning into the stratosphere. They loved the idea that government would spend more on education or energy or regulate the health-insurance companies."
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Obama leads by over 170 electoral votes, and McManDiaper's happy?

Something strange is happening, maybe McCrappy's discovered Prozac, but depending on which electoral map you use, and we at Pants use the electoral-vote.com map, BO is leading this race by a mile or two. Electoral-vote.com has BO leading by 357 EVs to 181 EVs, meaning that Johnny McTedious trails by 176 EVs, a substantial lead in anyone's books, but the straight talker is telling anyone that'll listen -- which apart from a few rabid racists, Fixed News and Wolf Blitzer is not too many -- that he has BO 'exactly where we want him'!

Now I'm all for a bit of straight talk, but c’mon Johnny, if this is exactly where you want him, what the fuck does it have to look like before your campaign starts to worry? Utah getting competitive?

Sarah Plain Guilty

Johnny McBush and Sarah Plainey made a rare joint appearance at a rally in Virginia earlier today, as it's been at least 2 hours since they last campaigned together something must be afoot. But, I just can't think what.

I mean it can't be anything to do with her being found guilty of abusing the power of her elected office to pursue personal vendettas, can it? The mainstream media don't seem to think it's relevant at all, and who can blame them? what does it matter that the person sitting a heart beat away from becoming the leader of the free world is a cheap crook?

Here's the ambiguous language of the Alaskan ethics investigation findings (c/o Wonkette):
Guilty, schmilty, her guilt doesn't bother the media, and why should it? She's a great gal, she goes to church and chases witches and their spells away, she hunts polar bears and cooks their little cubs.

What more could you ask of the leader of a complex global economy? Well, in my humble opinion a fuck of a lot more.

The MSM's reaction to the ethics investigation's findings has been a fraud in itself, it's totally outrageous. This person is standing for election as Vice President of the United States to a seventy two year old President with a history of cancer, yet I have had CNN on all morning (Monday) and there has not been a single mention of the investigation's findings. Now, the news may well be kept quiet over here, but the rest of the world will be reading all about it, what a fucking embarrassment!

I am starting to loathe McCrap and his amatruerish campaign, and anyone who could still vote for the current Republican party. I have had it with their desperate struggle to hold onto power, for the sake of power, their election has nothing to do with the best interests of the American people, it's purely political, and purely about what is in their best interests.

If Sarah Palin was the single most qualified person in the Republican party to stand as Vice President then they are without doubt a spent political force. If she hadn't been so palpably under qualified the media wouldn't have had to spend so much time scrambling to paper over her many character flaws.

Perhaps the fact that she knowingly abused her powers and then assured the American people that she hadn't, did not surprise the media, but what does that tell you about the expectations we have of our leaders? Has the bar really fallen that low?

There's another issue in all of this, you hear people talking about Wooten being a nasty piece of work and deserving it, perhaps he did. But, whether you think she was justified or not, you have to remember that before he dared to divorce sister Palin, Michael Wooten was a respected member of the Palin household, he was plain old uncle Mike. Sarah Palin never complained about any of his abusive behaviour before, perhaps she was cool with all the drinking, and tasering, and moose worrying, or was it that she didn't feel that the public needed protecting from him as long as he was married to her sister? what does that tell you about her character?

However you look at this, it's an outrage and definitely not becoming of a potential Vice President. A diarist at the DailyKos over the weekend questioned what the media reaction would've been had Joe Biden been found guilty of the same abuse of power....just a thought.

Where's the fucking media coverage?