Chili Con Carne

I recently sent this short description (175 words) of an embarrassing date. I got unlucky with some dried chilies.

Chili con carne!

Fueled by a robust red, this date had been racing.

Our pizzas arrived, we both added parmesan and I crumbled on some dried chili, then grabbed the opportunity to take a much needed piss.

This girl was fantastic, amazing!

I returned quickly and we picked up where we’d left off. But, within a few moments something began stirring in my crotch, it felt like my manhood was basting in a bowl of battery acid.

I began to sweat profusely.

Like some beautiful actress from the silent age, I could see my date‘s mouth moving, but I could register nothing, my mind was completely distracted.

After a time, the silent siren’s lips stopped moving and pursed in frustration. It was all my fault, but Vesuvius happened to be erupting in my nuts and hot lava was cascading down my cock, petrified and in pain, I sat frozen.

Then, a realization...

‘CHILIES!’ I screamed. My penis had pinched a peck of pickled pepper.

Water washed it away, she left too, the humiliation hung around.

Moral:- Use a utensil when adding chilies.