WTF was that Fraudley?

So, I'm not a fanatical fight fan, and definitely no expert boxing critic, but I do like watching the occasional big fight when I can, and the Haye/Harrison contest on Saturday night seemed to fit the bill. It was only the fifth time in history that a world heavyweight championship would feature two Brits, and as it was being billed as the ‘Battle of Britain’ I just couldn't resist.

NB: To those of you unfamiliar with the nuances of the great and honourable sport of boxing it may appear as if Audley is merely running scared, but I have it on good authority (Audley) that his version of 'Bringing the Heat' involves turning his back on his opponent with his arms flailing in the air behind him. It's intended to lure his oponent into a flase sense of security, sadly for Audley this time it only succeeded in luring David Haye into a secure sense of security

The term Battle of Britain was originally used to retrospectively describe an air battle in which the Royal Air Force whooped the arses (that’s how we say it in Britland) of the previously all-conquering Luftwaffe. The surprise attack was aimed at destroying the RAF’s ability to mount an air defense of Britain in advance of a future Nazi invasion, and it nearly succeeded. The Luftwaffe's significant numeric advantage was increased as the surprise attack succeeded in destroying a large part of the RAF even before they could get air born.

However, the Germans failed to account for the fact that they were attacking men of British birth, an error they've repeated through history, and when these few good men, these compatriots of God did get air born they countered the nasty nazis numeric advantage with superior valor, honor and strength. They also received a little help from a few archangels on whose wings they flew to defeat their miserable foe.

Somehow over the years instead of being used to describe a conflict between Brits and Johnny foreigners, the Battle of Britain has been painfully overused by promoters and media to describe any sporting contest between Brits. But, as hackneyed as the term has become its use in context with the Haye/Harrison debacle on Saturday was almost as intolerable as it was inaccurate. It would be erroneous to describe that spectacle as anything remotely relating a battle.

I got hooked on boxing as a youngster watching legends like Ali, Frazier, and Norton and was fortunate enough to witness the great middleweight bouts of the 80s involving Hagler, Hearns and Leonard, and I was there for the reignition of the heavyweight division with the breathtaking arrival of a young Mike Tyson.

Being British I've been spoiled with some genuine home grown gladiators like Benn, Eubanks, Michael Watson and the lightening fast Herol 'Bomber' Graham. We even had an undisputed world heavyweight champion in Lennox Lewis; a legitimate challenger to the likes of Tyson and Holyfield.

But, being a hugely biased British boxing fan, since Lewis's retirement there's been very little worth watching in the heavyweight division, and a match-up between an untested Cruiserweight called David Haye and a perpetually suspect contender called Audley Harrison wasn't gonna change my opinion. But, the hype dammit!

Audrey won an amature boxing medal once, which is something Lennox Lewis did, so he got it in his head that he'd be able to emulate Lewis. The problem was Audley wasn't talented like Lewis and unlike Lewis who won his amatuer medal as a teenager, Audley waited until he was almost 30 before winning his.

To cut a very tiresom story short, Audley would make all the right noises out of the ring, but only grunts of pain once he got into it, he was useless.

Here's Audley's pre-fight interview....



Still, regardless of what he did in the ring the hype machine kept on rolling ensuring that thousands of Brits would show up to watch him struggle to an unconvincing points victory over some one eyed 50 year old. Invariably these 'fans' would boo Audley out of the ring at the end of each fight, knowing that they'd just been had, again. Many paying good money in the hope that Audley got nailed.

Here's the first two rounds of the Haye/Harrison world championship debacle....



and here's round three and the TKO of Audrey....



Let's just hope that Audley's own words (taken from an apology he released to press today)....

"I make no excuses and I'm not sure where I go from here in boxing, but I'll lick my wounds, take some time out with my family and see what I want to do.

...are the words of a man in denial and not an indication that he's seriously considering his options....there can't be any options left for Audrey in professional boxing, can there?